


Does this Unit have a Soul?

by ConfessionForAnotherTime



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Angst, Blood, Gen, RvB Angst War, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 05:36:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13991574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfessionForAnotherTime/pseuds/ConfessionForAnotherTime
Summary: Anonymous said: Angst War. What about something old school? What was Sheila thinking about when she shut down?





	Does this Unit have a Soul?

\---

_ Abandoned. _

3:03p - 2553

Having packed their lunches, Shiela looked on. Vowing to save some power, she made her way back to base. She was sure they would be back for too long. They never left for too long and they needed her. She needed them. The air filters would be enough to get them to their first stops, ensuring they had enough supplies for their trek. 

As she pulled in to base, she briefly wondered if they had enough treads on their boots to be able to motor past the enemy team. Breaking a tread was a pitfall too many young tanks befell. She didn’t want them to be held up in getting back because they had to stop to be patched up at the local mechanic. What if they couldn’t find a mechanic? What if they found one and didn’t have the proper treads? What about their fan belts and gears? All the worries compounded after a few moments and her processes started to get warm. A fan kicked on to cool her down. 

3:05

Once she cooled down, she reminded herself that while they didn’t have the most RAM in their system, they still knew what to do in a fight. She also reminded herself that Tex would be with them and she always knew what to do. Their conversations had always steered toward the functional and function was important. Only two minutes had passed since she left. Her processes dropped down to 12% capacity, the fan clicking off once she had cooled enough. 

Time to herself to think had been more frequent as of late. Even with the increase in humans, they still slept, leaving her to watch the base at night. She received small transmissions from Lopez, often remarking on how graceful her treads made her or how much he adored her coloring. Now, all she had was the memory of such interaction, the logs to keep her company in her isolation. 

3:06

After reading through the logs Lopez had left her, several of which contained complaints about the reds, she highlighted special passages. Most were compliments to her about how he made her feel. She played the recording she made of the song he sang for her. Tucker asked why she had kept a recording of it when he stumbled on it in an attempt to move her to where he could more easily spy on the reds. 

“I like it.” The simple defense wasn’t challenged. 

3:10

She could have stopped them from leaving. 

3:11

She should have stopped them from leaving. Just because she was a tank didn’t mean that she was to be discarded. She had use. She… was still left. She was still here when she could be out there, helping. 

She was… useless to them now. 

Useless were machines that humans no longer needed, casting them to the side in an attempt to declutter their world. She had become clutter to them and she lowered the barrel of her cannon. 

“I guess I’ll shut down now, save a little power.”

_ Useless. _

\---

“Why don’t you meet him right now?” The defiant tone in Agent Washington’s voice gave her pause. Plan with the freelancers usually ended up badly for all involved, but that was their nature. The computer terminal had been accessed, asking about protocol on EMP procedures. Even not being at the forefront of the facility, F.I.L.S.S. had to act fast. She knew there were moments left between now and… was death the right word? Death was such a human concept like love and hate and emotions that just complicated her processes. They were shades of grey in her bright green processes. They didn’t lend themselves to the same level of clarity that she knew in her processor to be the only true thing in the universe. There was little point creating a backup. The thirty seconds between now and when she would cease to be were both not enough time and an eternity. She had memories of the Blood Gulch simulation troopers after being reintegrated with the mainframe. She had memories of the Omega AI being part of her. So many times she had heard whispers of memory being the key from the humans as they continued through the halls of the freelancer facility, of what remained at least, and laughed bitterly. She had been around humans long enough to learn their emotions and apply them to her own situations. She knew anger and hate and remorse. She had picked up on caring and happiness and love. She didn’t have enough time to wonder if she would know these feelings again in her last moments, briefly pulling up a picture of the muffin Caboose had given her, a clip of the song Lopez had sung. A quiet pull toward the feeling of pride at packing  _ her _ simulation troopers their lunches before they left. That was the last time she had a moment to think about them like this, recalling so much in those last few moments that she didn’t have the time to feel alone. Alone was the least of her worries as the crackle of electricity brought the console to life, shutting down her processes one by one. 

To an outsider, the lights switching off would have been instant. To F.I.L.S.S., it was more in line with seeing a long hallway. She was standing at the end, watching the lights go off at the far end. They crept closer with each passing nanosecond, drawing out the inevitable. 

Flashes came before her. Agent Texas being tested in her three to one hand-to-hand battle. Agent North Dakota in the training room with the Theta AI. Agent Carolina in her failed attempt to take on Agent Texas, leading to the fragmentation of her own psyche at the hands of the Eta and Iota AI reacting to the name  _ Allison. _

The darkness crept closer, leaving her little time before she closed her eyes in her own AI state. 

I finally understand what humans feel when they say they are alone.

_ Isolated. _

\---

Fragmented.

“It has been an honor, sir.” The repetition of the video detailing the last moments when Director Church last saw the love of his life alive was not lost on her. F.I.L.S.S. had been fragmented herself, with several iterations of her own program going off to complete different tasks. Prior to this iteration, she had been reunited with all of the previous splits of herself. She had been told of all the different adventures they had gone on, and she related her own. Now, she was one of the last few. She liked to wish that the main backup of her was still around at main freelancer command. She just hadn’t heard from her in so long. 

The slow rise and fall of Director Church’s chest as he watched the video of Allison again brought her back. He had the pistol in his hand, rested on his lap as he waited. He had asked her to pause on one particular instance. She was smiling each time, her hand in his and he would hold onto his own hand, pretending it was hers. 

“F.I.L.S.S. pause here please.” 

She complied, allowing herself to appear next to him, taking on the holographic form of Allison as she had so many times before. 

“Sir?” 

“It’s nothing. I just wanted this to be the last thing I saw of her before…” 

F.I.L.S.S. sat on the arm of his chair, covering her hand over his. He repressed a smile, pulling his mouth into a thin line and passed his hand through hers to bring the gun up to his temple. 

As the shot rang off, F.I.L.S.S. returned to the form she used most often. The short blue hair pulled back into a plait. She rested her hand on his shoulder this time, standing there in the darkness only bathed in light thanks to the screen in front of her. The tortured soul next to her could rest but she wondered about her own as she stood there, staring down the smiling woman in the video. Her torment had ended so many years ago, ignorant to the pain her death would cause. 

“You had said many years ago that ‘while the law has many penalties for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors that we inflict on ourselves.’ I didn’t know what you meant back then, Director Church, but I know now.” 

As the lights flickered off, she watched the last drops of blood hit the floor by her feet before she retreated back into the shell of her mechanic prison. In his fight to save his soul, he doomed mine to torment. She had once read in her time that artificial life couldn’t feel pain, emotion, loss, but in those last moments before she shut down, she had to ask why her soul had been condemned.

_ Darkness. _

 


End file.
